The Power in Changing Your Mind: An Unneeded Controversy

Do you know what you want to do for a job? Are you happy in your current one?

...Honestly?

Do you know your true style? Have you ever wanted to change the way you dress, or the hobbies you have?

...Honestly?

Do you really want to go to that meal or event you have been invited to in the future?

... Genuinely?

There is some kind of 'secret antipathy' or 'disapproval' if you will- regarding changing your mind about things like your job status / type, whether you want to go out or not, what fashion taste you have, or what you want in life in general.

It is absolutely, wholeheartedly most naturally normal to change your mind, and I know I am not the only one who has felt this way. I have researched plenty into the topic, as well as spoke to others about it- granted, they would never have told me they felt similar if I had not brought it up in the first place. Sadly, this is because a lot of people lie to their significant others, as well as to family and friends, regarding their choices because of the fear of being judged.

Sometimes it almost seems like everybody around us has jumped into a job and stayed in it for life- or has kept the exact same fashion forever. Or, has always agreed to go out and socialise, and never said no- they are the perfect social bunnies!

However, have you ever stepped back and thought whether the people you are comparing yourself to actually really want to change their mind, but they are scared of what people will think?

Have you ever thought that the friend you have that is constantly posting herself/himself meeting up with other friends and on nights out actually is petrified that if they stay in they might lose their friends/ be condemned for saying no/ get FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)?

Maybe that school friend you still have on Instagram with the ‘perfect job’ travelling the world actually wants to make roots now and wants to fall in love and buy a house- but is scared of giving up the job that they have had all her life.

Would they tell you that?

…Would you?

Maybe you are the strong one, for saying 'no' when you don't want to go somewhere? Maybe it's okay to say 'I'll see how I feel closer the time.'

Everyone wants everyone to believe they are living a brilliant life and all their needs are met. Even if someone opens up about one element of their life being a little worse for wear, they may still seem perfect in other respects. Ever had a friend moan about their other half but she or he is living in that big old house with rich parents? Well, for all you know, they may have been cut off from their parents, or in buckets of debt.

If you are currently feeling 'stuck' in a job at the moment as you are too scared to take the leap into something else, too scared to take that break in employment to study the thing you wanted to do before, but were too scared to tell your parents at university you really wanted to do (it really is a vicious cycle isn’t it!?) then I am telling you now:

Do it.

I have been sat riddled in financial worry for most of my twenties, thinking I needed 6 months of salary in my savings all the time in case I lose my job, that if I am not putting money into my savings I am a losing at life (according to everything you Google and most professionals you speak to) and only as I have nearly reached the big 3 0 have I finally realised that f*ck it. As long as you don’t spend beyond your means, there is every possible chance we can take the leap to a new career and that savings are not just there for emergencies. You want to be a horse riding instructor, but you’re an office worker now? Great! Go find a membership that will train you up and ask around at yards how to make that possible. You want to be a watersports instructor, but your working in HR? Get your qualifications on a holiday, then apply to do some freelance or join a business like PGL that will help you get through your qualifications and pay you to do it! You’re currently a financial manager, but you really want to drop to part time and just work casually in a book shop as you actually don't care at all about building a 'career'? Why not! Put your life before your work!

A report online says that ‘Typically, in the UK, if you're working full-time at 37.5 hours per week, you'd rack up around 1,800 hours annually, taking into account public holidays and annual leave. The total can vary, though, depending on how many holidays you're entitled to and any additional hours you might work. Part-time employees can end up working any number below that, of course.’

That is Monday- Friday working, with two days off. Five of seven days at work. You might as well make it a job you really want- as we don’t get to do this twice. Life is lived once, and once only. Time is precious. Or, if you can/want to, go part time! There is no shame in putting your home life first!

Please note I know the UK is in well, quite a financial mess at the moment- some people, especially those with families, may feel they have to stay stuck in a position they hate, to feed their children. I understand this, and I hope one day, luck and karma come around to pick you up, hug you and will finally give you the permission to do a job or voluntary position, (or nothing!) like you truly want to do.

You are the only you, and in a world of AI and forgery, be the something that is real. F*ck following the trends.

Feel like you want to dress like a Goth one day because you're feeling dark, but then dress in full colour the next day like a god damn unicorn? Why the h*ll not!

So to finish this off lightly, I will quote someone I am in love with right now who is called Tom Read Wilson and is currently starring on Im A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here! 

‘Sometimes you have to tread water where you are and think ‘that will happen’ . As I do think that things right themselves. I think, focus on you now- and what turns you on and your talents and then people in your orbit will celebrate you- then your orbit will grow and one day, somewhere in that orbit.. will be that person/ (thing).’

-Tom Read Wilson

This forest I visited in New Zealand offers many trails and paths to take.

Love,

Helena x